Coincidentally after the post a few days ago about my Dad's model making I found a school book from when I as six. It was the school diary we used to have to write every morning for our first lesson of the day. There it was 22nd January 1967 "Daddy put up an aeroplane in my room." It all recorded, the toys I got for Christmas, our house being put up for sale and the most wonderful thing at the time our new poodle puppy. Reading it I can remember every joyous moment, I loved that puppy so much.
The heart breaking thing for me to read was the next entry after the aeroplane being put up, it all went wrong. There was a gap and I'm not sure why, maybe I had been kept off school. The next entry on the 7th February started "Daddy is in hospital and he is going to be in for four weeks." How strange that such a terrible time for us as a family was clearly recorded by me and has survived. It was just the way it worked out. My Dad had a heart attack at 35 and was very seriously ill. In the end he was in hospital for five weeks and my sister and I were only allowed to visit him a few times, all recorded clearly in my diary, with little drawings of him in bed. We weren't used to being looked after by other people and all of a sudden we were daily, it was very hard.. So many people were ever so kind but I remember one family who lived down the road from us, whose mother would bring us home from school with her son and daughter. The mother and daughter were nice but the son was about 10 and a terrible bully, he would hit us with a ruler and make our life a misery. Even at six and nine we didn't want to tell my Mum as we knew she was worried enough. Reading those entries I could remember every bit of it.
Dad recovered and we eventually moved house, and I moved schools, three months later so the diary stopped. He was off work for a long time though and didn't go back until after we moved. Somehow I felt life was never quite the same again. There was always that worry that had never been there before that he may be ill again and I know it was worse for my Mum who worried and worried. Even though I had a really happy childhood, what happened in those weeks at the end of January1967, altered those carefree days. The irony of the whole thing though is that it shouldn't have. Here is my Dad nearly 90 and really rather fit. If only we could have seen into the future.
If I can learn anything from reading that old diary it's try not to worry about things outside our control. There is no point as none of us know the scenarios of how our lives with play out good or bad so we may as well just live for the day. There's no harm in planning and looking forward to something but certainly not worrying about what may happen as we have no control over some things, and worrying won't alter whether it happens or not!
Scarlett is coming today and we have sorted out some Thomas the Tank Engine trains for her. I wonder who will get more pleasure from this Scarlett or youngest son! I think what ever happens we will have a nice day. I really feel for everyone in the Southern States of America who are having terrible weather at the moment. I hope everyone stays safe and has a lovely day wherever you are. xx
