I remember an incident at a car boot sale that was an illustration of this lack of regard. I spotted this painting on the floor in front of a table and loved it. It is a watercolour of an old lady. I paid the £4 the seller asked for it and as I was walking away the seller said "I'm surprised I sold that today as she is so ugly." "I think she's lovely" I replied. I was really shocked by his comment.
She
has been on the wall on out landing since then and when ever I walk
past her I look at her face and think what kind eyes she has. She
looks as if she has had a life full of love and experience. How could
that man think she was ugly. Then it struck me it's because she is
old and that is what so many people see. When I was a student nurse
in the late 1970s I worked on a geriatric ward and the ward sister was a fantastic woman. Old school, but kindness itself to the old people in her care. Under her direction we worked and worked all day to give the old people the best quality of care they could possibly of had. Looking back now I realise how good this ward was. Every new student nurse was given a copy of this poem to read and keep.It made an enormous impression on me. I think maybe it should be compulsory reading for every young person.
An
Old Lady's Poem
What
do you see, nurses, what do you see?
What
are you thinking when you're looking at me?
A
crabby old woman, not very wise,
Uncertain of
habit, with faraway eyes?
Who
dribbles her food and makes no reply
When
you say in a loud voice, "I do wish you'd try!"
Who
seems not to notice the things that you do, and
Forever
is losing a stocking or shoe.....
Who,
resisting or not, lets you do as you will,
With
bathing and feeding, the long day to fill....
Is
that what you're thinking?
Is
that what you see?
Then
open your eyes, nurse; you're not looking at me.
I'll
tell you who I am as I sit here so still,
As
I do at your bidding, as I eat at your will.
I'm
a small child of ten ....with a father and mother,
Brothers
and sisters, who love one another.
A
young girl of sixteen, with wings on her feet,
Dreaming
that soon now a lover she'll meet.
A
bride soon at twenty -- my heart gives a leap,
Remembering
the vows that I promised to keep.
At
twenty-five now, I have young of my own,
Who
need me to guide and a secure happy home.
A
woman of thirty, my young now grown fast,
Bound
to each other with ties that should last.
At
forty, my young sons have grown and are gone,
But
my man's beside me to see I don't mourn.
At
fifty once more, babies play round my knee,
Again
we know children, my loved one and me.
Dark
days are upon me, my husband is dead;
I
look at the future, I shudder with dread.
For
my young are all rearing young of their own,
And
I think of the years and the love that I've known.
I'm
now an old woman ...and nature is cruel;
'Tis jest
to make old age look like a fool.
The
body, it crumbles, grace and vigour depart,
There
is now a stone where I once had a heart.
But
inside this old carcass a young girl still dwells,
And
now and again, my battered heart swells.
I
remember the joys, I remember the pain,
And
I'm loving and living life over again.
I
think of the years ....all too few, gone too fast,
And
accept the stark fact that nothing can last.
So
open your eyes, people, open and see,
Not
a crabby old woman; look closer ...see ME!!
