The Special Days Are Today

 The rain stayed off most of yesterday and I met my sister and we popped into Marks & Spencer's to buy lunch for my Dad and we had a really nice few hours chatting and catching up over it. Dad had found an old bottle of really Armagnac brandy from 1931 which is his year of birth. One of his work colleagues had given it to him as a present years ago and he had put it away to open on a special birthday and forgotten about it. "We should have opened it on your 90th." my sister and I joked. "Oh well" he replied "We'll open it on my 100th, and if I don't make it, you can sell it and buy a house!" All joking apart, not quite a house but it is very valuable and another lesson learned not to put things away for best or special occasions as the special days are today.

It was one of the topics of conversation Tom and I had while we were away. It is so easy to always be planning for the future and missing "the now" . We are guilty of it, Tom often says "We'll do that when I retire."  It is nice to think about these things but I think every day I mustn't forget how much pleasure there is in now. You hear it all the time at the moment "I can't wait till this is all over." "I can't wait until next year when I can have a holiday abroad." My friend's husband died very suddenly aged only 58 a few years ago. He was a cheerful chap and the day before he died he visited the boat yard where they kept their little boat. His last Facebook entry on that day was a post saying. "It's a beautiful day here, the sort of day that makes you feel glad to be alive." While it is so poignant to see it, what a wonderful epitaph in another way. Tom and I have both said we are going to try and enjoy every day. I know it is harder for Tom driving round in the London traffic all day, but he says it could be much worse, most of the people he works with are really nice and 90% of the passengers are lovely. I am going to find time today sit down and make a few notes about ways to simplify our lives and enjoy it more. I try to do this sort of thing all the time and then somehow slip back into those days worrying about how I will get everything done I need to to. 

Eldest daughter and Scarlett came round yesterday and I wish I could simplify her life for her! We had a really nice family day though. A perfect day to finish off Tom's holiday and although he was up early today and left the house before 5am, he was definitely rested and refreshed after his break. I've just got to work out a way of keeping that for us!

Even though youngest son has been feeding the foxes, since we have been home the male fox has taken to standing looking in at us reproachfully all the time. Where have you been? I'm sure he is saying! Have a lovely day everyone what ever you are doing. xx

Relaxing Off Grid And Bats

We arrived back from the caravan yesterday afternoon for a couple of days. We felt rested, tanned and ready for anything! Our enthusiasm was slightly  dampened when we arrived home to discover the foxes had ripped the lid right off our food waste bin and rubbish was strewn every where. Youngest son and daughter hadn't had time to clear it up before they left for work (or so they said!) so I had to start sweeping the path as soon as I returned. When I got inside the house though my spirits were soon lifted by a wonderful chatty letter from my lovely cousin waiting for me. What is it about letters that are so special now? Reading her chatty letter with all her news felt so exciting. Technology has taken over our lives and although there is a lot of good in technology, I have definitely realised this past week there is a lot not so good. We had virtually no internet access at the caravan. I managed to post a few photos on Instagram but just had to post them and leave my phone and they could take hours uploading. A lot of the time we had no mobile signal either, I started by feeling a bit anxious about it but then kept reminding myself that before all this technology most of us were completely uncontactable on holiday. As an older teenager, at home with my sister when my Mum and Dad started to take some holidays on their own, we heard nothing from them for two weeks, the only contact we had was a postcard that usually arrived on the day they arrived home! We survived fine so how have we become so obsessed with keeping in contact all the time. 

The day before we left yesterday we went for another long walk with the dogs to Bewl Water. We went really early just after nine as it was so warm and walked all morning. When we arrived back at the caravan and I was getting lunch ready, the dogs were all so relaxed and tired, it made me realise that everyday life takes it toll on animals too. They have loved this caravan life.

After lunch I settled my self down on the sun lounger with my book for a guilt free afternoon doing nothing! There is something about that just sitting, on holiday that I could never do at home, there always seems to be so much to catch up with. A new couple in a very smart campervan arrived at the site and Tom turned his chair round so he could watch all the shenanagans! They spent a long time setting up all their electronic devices and a satellite dish but then realised they couldn't get any internet access. The owners of the site were summoned and after much discussion the van was all packed up again and the owners of another campervan who were parked closer to the house kindly swapped with them. Apparently if you are close to the owners house you can get get access to the internet. Tom gave me a running commentary of the entire proceedings, while I lay on the sun lounger reading and feigning interest. By the time they had set up again they were practically in the toilet block but they seemed happy and they both spent the rest of the afternoon sitting looking at their mobile phones. When I walked over to the toilet that evening, they were in the middle of loudly face timing someone and showing them round their campervan. They were so jolly and friendly stopping their phone conversation to chat to me, with their large glasses of red wine, I couldn't help but warm to them, but it did seem a bit of a shame they weren't really enjoying their beautiful surroundings more.

There is a lot of good on the internet, but I can't help but think life was simpler and less stressful without it, or was it because I was younger then so of course life was less stressful. Tom and I have talked a lot about simplifying our life and our plans for the future, but I also am not going to fall into the trap of not enjoying today. Even on the busiest of days there always seems to be something to enjoy. Youngest daughter couldn't wait to tell me, that over the last few evenings, she has seen bats flying around some large trees near our garden. she said as she was looking out, with her window open around nine o'clock she spotted them. Her old school, just down the road is a listed old building and they often had bats flying around if we went to events on summer evenings so I suppose it is not to far for them to travel. We can't wait to try and film them. 

I have just about forgiven the foxes for all the mayhem they caused. Youngest son is convinced it was not our pair, as they would be too discerning after the wonderful diet they normally get to raid mouldy old food waste bins. I'm having a garden day today, youngest daughter has been religiously watering it while we have been away and left unchecked everything has got really wild, so I better have a bit of a tidy up. That's before I even start on the house! Sigh, I miss my sun lounger! Have a lovely day everyone, what ever you are doing. xx

Getting Through A Very Rainy Day

 Yesterday felt like a bit of a right off in many ways because of the weather so I kept busy inside. I designed my new pin board for the caravan which I am really thrilled with and just hope it turns out as nicely as I had planned and ordered the new item I need for the old Robert's radio. I will definitely be taking it to a repair cafe when all they start up, but until then I'm keeping my fingers crossed my plan works. I just hope my brain waves work! I get these ideas, usually when I'm out walking the dogs and have time to think and often they come to nothing but sometimes they work out well. I love it though as I feel so enthusiastic about things when an idea comes to me and it can get me through the darkest of rainy days. I often see items on the news about mindfulness and relaxation and I always think that's not really for me. It's new ideas and being busy that get me through. 

For a short time in the afternoon the sun came out and I went out and fed the birds, changed the ducks pool and checked the greenhouse. All this wet weather has really brought the slugs out and I have to do a snail and slug "sweep" in there every day as they have been munching on some of the seedlings. I carry them out and dump them in the hedge at the end of the garden, no doubt for them to return the next day, I'm sure I recognise some of them! I have bought my cosmos and sun flower seedlings into the house as I have lost so many. This reminds me why I should try to grow plants in the garden that slugs and snails just ignore, it is so much less trouble, I have to battle through with my dahlias yet! After only an hour this was what the sky looked like as I was returning into the house.

Within five minutes and after a large clap of thunder that set Layla off barking and barking this was the sight in the garden. I was very glad I got inside in time.

It looks like it is going to be another day of rain today, I can't believe I was moaning about how dry the garden was in April. Tom is off work for two days and he has a spot at the dump booked tomorrow as we are getting rid of my Dad's old microwave for him. He is obsessed with getting the loft tidied up which I can't really be bothered with as we can't see it. I have managed to get so much sorted out in the house during lockdown and now the boxes have all gone to the charity saleroom, I'd rather not have to sort out any more for a while but I suppose it is a way of passing this rainy day. I hope everyone has a lovely Sunday and you manage to avoid this heavy rain we are having. xx

Struggling With Technology

 It as a really sunny, bright, cheerful day yesterday. When my sister and I arrived at my Dad's house, he was sitting out on his bench in the front garden. He loves to sit after he has worked and gets to chat to so many people as they walk by. He always says "I don't know them from Adam, but they seem to know me!" It makes me laugh, it's not just neighbours, it's local school children, delivery drivers and even groups of cyclists all in their cycling gear wave and call to him as they go past. So many people are so kind. Now he can get out and about again he had been to the local garden centre to buy some hanging baskets and they looked so lovely we all sat and admired them for a while.

A couple of years ago my Dad went on a course to help him get to grips with the internet and technology. It was one day a week and was one to one which really helped him. The young man who was teaching, set up a WhatsApp group for him and my sister which we still use all the time. We send him photos throughout the day and even though he makes mistakes sometimes (don't we all!) he manages to do the same. We get photos of Millie his cat watching TV, and new plants he has put in the garden! It is a really good way for him to feel connected throughout the day. When I tell my friends we have a WhatsApp group some of them say "My Mum or Dad could never manage a mobile phone!" I think that is a shame. Trying new things is what has kept my Dad young.

Today is Ed Balls day. Youngest son tells me each year of the fact! Apparently the poor MP Ed Balls, obviously struggling with technology, tried to search on Twitter to see what was being said about him, and just tweeted his own name by mistake. It amused everyone so much, it was retweeted millions of times. Luckily he finds it very amusing and goes along with the joke, which is just as well as today is the tenth anniversary of what has become an annual "Ed Balls Day". I think we should use this day to remind ourselves as we get older that we should embrace technology and not be scared of it. If we make mistakes who cares. My Dad often sends back the photos we send him but because he willing to give it all a go, his days are much more fun and connected with the family than they could be. 

There is actually rain forecast today, we haven't seen rain for weeks! The garden really does need it. I think I will get on with some inside jobs today that I have been putting off for a while. I hope everyone has a lovely day what ever you are doing. xx

Queuing, Planting And Badgers

 It as a lovely sunny day yesterday. I caught the train into Sutton first thing to go to Morrisons and it was hard not to feel cheerful despite all these reports of third waves and variants. I thought I'm just getting on with my day and not thinking about it. There is blossom everywhere and that lovely spring feeling. It does seem strange with all the shops, but a few closed. I thought I would pop down to Wilkinson's and see how long the queue was. Luckily it was very short so I went in and bought some dahlia tubers and lily bulbs, by the time I came out the queue stretched to the top of the hill so I had got in just in time.

Morrisons was very quiet and I bought my food shopping and a couple of plants. They has quite a good selection but a lot I hadn't heard of, so I went along the shelf photographing them all so I could do a bit of research when I got home! These are the two I bought. I do love a Fuchsia and the Centaurea looks very pretty and attracts bees too.

On the way home on the train I saw something that really dented my good mood, it was a dead badger lying at the side of the railway track just outside Sutton station. I was surprised to see one as I had no idea there would be badgers in Sutton but I felt so sad as I kept imagining the poor thing just walking along and then being hit by a train. Last year we did manage to film a badger on the wildlife camera I set up in my Dad's garden and I think I'm going to look into how many badgers may be around in our area too.

When I got off the train I walked round to the bakers to buy a loaf of their delicious bread and was a bit daunted by the long queue there but decided I would wait as everyone in our house loves it so much. Luckily for me a traffic warden walked by the shop and three quarters of the queue ran off in panic so I managed to get into the shop really quickly! It was really worth it as I had a lunch of salad and warm wholemeal bread. 

I spent the afternoon out in the garden planting all my new purchases. I have never had much luck with dahlias as they always get eaten by slugs and snails as soon as they appear out of the ground so I'm going to keep them in pots in the greenhouse until they are big enough to put out and see if that is a bit more successful. I also planted out a rose bush I have grown from a cutting last year. I'm really looking forward to it flowering to see which rose it is as I have no idea.

The sunny flowerbed is starting to look a lot more spring like. It is full of blue bells and forget me nots which will be flowering soon. It is a year today since the start of the first lockdown, what a year it has been. If there is one thing I have decided in the last year it is that I'm just going to get on with my little life and make the best of the things around me which bring me pleasure. I'm going to my Dad's again today to do his shopping so more being out and about. I hope everyone has a lovely day and manages to get a little bit of normality and sunshine. xx

Raising The Flags On Our Vintage Caravan

 I absolutely love our vintage caravan. Tom and I always joke we will never part with it until the day we die! It's the most wonderful little space. On summer nights we sit under the sun canopy with a bottle of wine and admire the view and on cooler nights we sit inside listening to our little 1970s record player. Last summer when we were away in it, with no television, all the problems of life at the moment seemed to disappear. We would cook our meals on the little cooker and walk the dogs through fields. On one break away I popped into a Tesco Express not far from the site to get some bread rolls. It was before masks were compulsory but just the sign on the door asking me to socially distance brought me up with a start. I had almost forgotten while we had been away. I can't wait to be back to those days away again. Even though life was far from normal at the time, in our little caravan life seemed it. 

Our 1970s Caravan

No matter what happens this year this is what we are aiming for again. Not holidays abroad, this is our happy place.

One of the other items for the caravan I will be sorting out are the flags! We are lucky enough to still have the original flag badge and holder on the front. At the back of one of the cupboards we also found the three little flag poles. It was a happy find as is very expensive to find originals. Old flags are also expensive but I have bought this vintage Caravan Club one. To save money, now I have a template to work from, I may make the other two out of retro fabric. It's just deciding which fabric from my stash I will use!

Caravan Club Retro Flag

We all need something to look forward to in these difficult times. It's a nice bright morning and the header tape I ordered has arrived so I can get going on the remaining curtains for the caravan while I am deciding about the flags  It helps me plan and look to the future when times will be a bit more normal. It's only little things but I think it certainly helps. I hope everyone has a lovely day what ever you are doing. xx

Retirement, Pensions And Happiness

 I had a brilliant time on Saturday night with my old school friends out on the South Bank. We talked and laughed non stop for hours. Reminiscing, talking about what we are doing, talking about families. We didn't stop. One thing that we talked about a lot was out plans for retirement which is fast approaching. We all have taken very different career paths and some of the group are much better off financially than others. I have never, ever bothered about whether people have more money than me. I am very happy with my lot in life so I don't care. The wealthiest most "successful" man there, who works in banking, was horrified at some of our retirement plans. I'm not retiring until I'm 65 he said "Can't afford to I've got too many outgoings and need to earn more for my pension pot." He looked pale, grey and old. I felt sad for him remembering the fun, bright youngster at school. He was advising some of the other men on ways to invest money for the best possible income. I could catch bits of the conversation "risky but high returns" kept cropping up. I felt like saying "Are you mad?".but felt it was far to rude to say to someone I only see a couple of times a year.
  At the end of the night, one of the men, who is probably one of the most cheerful people you could meet, and I caught the train home together as we live close by. He was full of his family, his grandson, his life and how happy he is. He told me he kept quiet in the pension conversation as he doesn't have a private pension. He laughed, as long as I pay off  my mortgage and I have my family I will be happy. Some people may think I have done things wrong but never mind. I looked at him and thought how could anyone think he has done things wrong.
  I know we all need to be able to survive, and poverty in old age is no fun, but will all that extra money above what we need to live realatively comfortably really bring that much more happiness? I suppose time will tell!
  It was a really lovely day yesterday and I took Tess to the park to clear my head after such a late night. It was a beautiful autumn day and I thought no amount of money could buy this sort of day.

   I know lots of people may disagree with me but sometimes I think it's easy to be always striving for happiness in the future and not noticing it when it is right there every day. I hope everyone has a lovely day with a bit of brightness in it. xx

Turn Off That Television For Your Health

Last night Tom and I were babysitting for my eldest daughter and her partner who were going to a Queen tribute concert. They has warned us that bad weather had damaged their sky sattelite dish and the only channel working was Sky Sports (Hmm!). So when football had finished and Scarlett was asleep we looked through the Catch Up channels for something cheerful and light hearted to watch. We settled on an old Christmas special of Darling Buds Of May. We haven't watched an episode of this programme from the early 1990s for years and years and even though it all did look very dated we both said we did really enjoy it for a change. Christmas with the Larkins looked so perfect and idyllic my spirits were definitely lifted by the end of it! One thing I did think was that although I'm sure life was far from perfect or "perfick" as Pa Larkin would say in the 1950s there was no telelvision to intrude on a family Christmas.
  Not just Christmas but everyday life seems to be completely ruled by it. While I love some dramas I'm afraid I have made a descision that, for my health, the news programmes have to go from my life. It's not just politics which is so dire and depressing at the moment but the news seems to report on only misery, cross county lines gangs, modern day slavery, stabbings, starvation, war and endless ... no I won't mention the B word, all in our living rooms 24 hours a day. From now on I am just going to get a quick round up on an app on my phone and not watch it anymore. When Tom and I are in our caravan we choose quiet sites and don't have a TV or WIFI and often not even mobile phone access. It is heaven, we listen to music on our little 70s cassette player and play cards or a board game, walk the dogs and just relax.

 Could we live an adaptation of our caravan life all the time? It is something Tom and I discuss endlessly at the moment. We are definitely a family of frustrated hippies! We all long for something simpler and unless you grab your dreams I'm scared we will be taking them to our grave. We will keep planning for now and we have bought a bigger 1970s caravan this summer, which I will share photos of soon, but I am sure that in our future there will be some big changes.

Living Happily

The other day I was talking to my youngest son and he was telling me he belongs to an online group of young people who were a child of the 1990s. He told me there was a recent poll asking what was the silliest thing you believed as a child that you now know isn't true. He said "Guess what the top vote by a mile was." I guessed all the obvious things like Father Christmas or the Tooth Fairy but he told me no, top of the poll by a large margin was that they would grow up to be happy. I could have cried. What has happened to our young people, I feel so sorry for them. Large student debts, no hope of buying a home and struggling to find a job in the field they studied in and obviously a cynical attitude fueled by social media!
  Everyone has bad times and feel down I told him but if you can not dwell on the bad bits and take pleasure in all the little things around you in life then in the end they merge into one and your overriding memory of the day is happiness. I think everyone rushes about and doesn't notice little things like wild flowers in the hedge, the birds singing or beautiful sunsets.
   W. H. Davies wrote this poem called Leisure in 1911 so even in those days rushing about must have seemed like a problem.

What is this life if, full of care,

We have no time to stand and stare.

No time to stand beneath the boughs

And stare as long as sheep or cows.

No time to see, when woods we pass,

Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.

No time to see, in broad daylight,

Streams full of stars, like skies at night.

No time to turn at Beauty's glance,

And watch her feet, how they can dance.

No time to wait till her mouth can

Enrich that smile her eyes began.

A poor life this if, full of care,

We have no time to stand and stare.

   I am lucky as I was constantly being told to look at a beautiful things when I was a child. I remember walking back from the shops with my sister and my Mum looking in hedges at the birds building their nests and standing for ages listening to them singing. I think it is a skill that probably has to be taught and it is even harder to learn it now when people drive everywhere, even for short distances and with all that is going on around us. The other day I walked back from the shops through the local churchyard and stood for about ten minutes looking at the bluebells and wildflowers. I could hear bees buzzing and birds singing, it was beautiful. Only one person walked past me while I was there and he had headphones on and was looking at his phone while he walked, only looking up to glance at me suspiciously as I "loitered" in the churchyard. I'm not knocking technology completely though as I took these photos on my phone while I was there.

  I have looked back at these photos with pleasure and wish I had photos looking in the hedges with my Mum. This weekend, even though it is raining I'm definitely going to take time to "Stop and stare". Otherwise it's easy to write the day off as just a wet miserable day and more important than that I'm going to keep encouraging my family to do so. 

Showing Respect To The Elderly

    There have been a few instances recently which have made me realise the lack of respect shown to old people. Of course it is not from everyone but there is always someone who sees them as a person to be ignored, patronised or even taken advantage of in their now frail state. My Mum, who looked years younger than her age, did't tell anyone how old she was, she said people treated you differently when they found out. I always say if I am lucky enough to live to be 90 I'm going to throw a party and go out proudly wearing a badge saying "I Am 90" , but maybe she had the right idea. 

   I remember an incident at a car boot sale that was an illustration of this lack of regard. I spotted this painting on the floor in front of a table and loved it. It is a watercolour of an old lady. I paid the £4 the seller asked for it and as I was walking away the seller said "I'm surprised I sold that today as she is so ugly." "I think she's lovely" I replied. I was really shocked by his comment. 

She has been on the wall on out landing since then and when ever I walk past her I look at her face and think what kind eyes she has. She looks as if she has had a life full of love and experience. How could that man think she was ugly. Then it struck me it's because she is old and that is what so many people see. When I was a student nurse in the late 1970s I worked on a geriatric ward and the ward sister was a fantastic woman. Old school, but kindness itself to the old people in her care. Under her direction we worked and worked all day to give the old people the best quality of care they could possibly of had. Looking back now I realise how good this ward was. Every new student nurse was given a copy of this poem to read and keep.It made an enormous impression on me. I think maybe it should be compulsory reading for every young person.

An Old Lady's Poem

What do you see, nurses, what do you see?

What are you thinking when you're looking at me?

A crabby old woman, not very wise,

Uncertain of habit, with faraway eyes?

Who dribbles her food and makes no reply

When you say in a loud voice, "I do wish you'd try!"

Who seems not to notice the things that you do, and

Forever is losing a stocking or shoe.....

Who, resisting or not, lets you do as you will,

With bathing and feeding, the long day to fill....

Is that what you're thinking?

Is that what you see?

Then open your eyes, nurse; you're not looking at me.

I'll tell you who I am as I sit here so still,

As I do at your bidding, as I eat at your will.

I'm a small child of ten ....with a father and mother,

Brothers and sisters, who love one another.

A young girl of sixteen, with wings on her feet,

Dreaming that soon now a lover she'll meet.

A bride soon at twenty -- my heart gives a leap,

Remembering the vows that I promised to keep.

At twenty-five now, I have young of my own,

Who need me to guide and a secure happy home.

A woman of thirty, my young now grown fast,

Bound to each other with ties that should last.

At forty, my young sons have grown and are gone,

But my man's beside me to see I don't mourn.

At fifty once more, babies play round my knee,

Again we know children, my loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me, my husband is dead;

I look at the future, I shudder with dread.

For my young are all rearing young of their own,

And I think of the years and the love that I've known.

I'm now an old woman ...and nature is cruel;

'Tis jest to make old age look like a fool.

The body, it crumbles, grace and vigour depart,

There is now a stone where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass a young girl still dwells,

And now and again, my battered heart swells.

I remember the joys, I remember the pain,

And I'm loving and living life over again.

I think of the years ....all too few, gone too fast,

And accept the stark fact that nothing can last.

So open your eyes, people, open and see,

Not a crabby old woman; look closer ...see ME!!

Holding Back The Years

  There is a programme on in the morning on BBC called Holding Back The Years. It is about dealing with old age and retirement and it is a subject for so many reasons that has been in my mind a lot recently. Obviously we all want to live as long as we can and be as healthy as we can, both of these suddenly have looked in jeopardy for me. I'm trying to use this feeling as a positive and not a negative and it has made me reassess a bit.
   Tom and I are lucky as our leisure time costs very little money. On this TV programme they were talking about cruises for retired people and to be honest sitting around on a cruise ship, not being able to go anywhere fills me with horror. Our idea of a nice day is to take the dogs and a picnic somewhere pretty and spend our day exploring. Other days we will leave the dogs at home go to one of the market towns in Sussex and search around the charity and second hand book shops. This programme talked about a "two tier system" as if the pensioners who shopped in charity shops were the poor ones but what they seemed to miss the point of, and the lovely pensioner they spoke to quite clearly didn't, it can be a lot of fun!
   One of the nicest days we have had is when I bought a large lot of second hand books on ebay for collection only.  "They are in Gillingham" I said. "Lovely" said Tom "Kent, we can make a day out of it and take some lunch." It was only when I had bought the items I realised there is a Gillingham in Dorset! We set off at the crack of dawn with my youngest daughter who has a spirit of adventure too and drove to pick up the books. After we had collected the books, we looked on the map and just chose a place to explore nearby. It was a place called Shaftesbury and I was completely overwhelmed by it. We sat on the hill eating our packed lunch looking at the view. "I think I have found my Spiritual home! " I said. It is the town they made the Hovis advert that was so popular on the TV in the 1970s and it was as if we had stepped back in time. After lunch we explored the church and all the little back streets at the bottom of the hill before walking all the way back up for an ice cream to recover. We still talk about that day often. Look how beautiful it is there. Much nicer than any old cruise!

   I know you have to make an effort to live healthily and take plenty of exercise but I still think as you get older taking the time to do the things you enjoy, no matter how small they may seem, is the key to a long life and I'm certain it is the key to a happy one.